| well..xanga...long time no...write?
eh lots of stuffs been going on..i guess sarah and i are going to try to find a different place just because this is super expensive and what not..plus the drama..yeah..not so fun..when derek gets involved with friend = a bad time..indeed yup
been hanging out with this dude named chad..hes pretty cool..nothing really going on i guess.. but regardless..its a good time  heh..anywho.yeah hes a cool dood met him at barnabys one night going out..yeah we were the people sitting there going..why the hell are we here and what are they playing for music..eh who knows he'll probably just being another one of those guys that hangs out with me for a little bit and then says goodbye..eh im used to it..
but oh the brighter side of things lol...i've been working at home depot..yup its super cool dood..except 8-5 is a killer i'll tell ya what..but i think it'll be fine..need to stick with it..i can do it! im just nervous cause its the first job that i've had since i've been sick so im kind of like..eh..i dont know whats going on..but please..i need support! seems like everyone thinks im doomed for failure..i just need to push myself..yup indeed i do..
hopefully tomorrow i'll work...then maybe i'll get to talk to chad (maybe even hang out) probably not lol..but talking would be cool..and then yeah..eat sleep and repeat..hope everyones doing well take care.
<3 - 3 libras |
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| so bored..and waiting for a phone call..doo dooooooo the end |
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| well i havent updated in a loooong time lol..so yeah..i've moved into a house in old town its pretty sweet im rooming with sarah o and derrick...he has a trampoline and its super cool dood lol but yeah sarah toni and i drank hardcore last night..it ended up being crazy..with like lots of puking and crazyness..but luckily (for them) i wasnt that drunk to watch walter bring them to bed and stuff lol right toni? and..well..ian came over and we watched a couple of movies it was pretty sweet..yup..well anywho thats about it for now..talk to you guys later...<3 |
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| i hurt myself today
to see if i still feel
i focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but i remember everything
what have i become?
my sweetest friend
everyone i know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
i will let you down
i will make you hurt
i wear my crown of shit
on my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
i cannot repair
beneath the stain of time
the feeling disappears
you are someone else
i am still right here
what have i become?
my sweetest friend
everyone i know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
i will let you down
i will make you hurt
if i could start again
a million miles away
i would keep myself
i would find a way |
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| yup..thats me..that useless loser that sits at the computer all day and sleeps most of it because shes dumb and doesnt want to do anything with her life..or so im told..
none of you people fucking understand what its like to feel like this..you dont understand that sleeping is better than being awake for all the day and feeling like killing yourself..but i guess its worth it right..saying that shit to me..would it make you better if i wasnt around to say that shit to..or if you didnt have to deal with me sleeping all day..YOU dont take fucking medication YOUR not fucking sick...YOU dont have to deal with this everyday and YOU certainly DO NOT have the fucking power or RIGHT to say anything about me...
maybe i am a fucking loser..maybe it would be better without me around..MAYBE you should realize im sick and that you should be able to be there for me instead of telling me how pointless and useless i am..maybe you should GO TO HELL....
 DO YOUR OWN FUCKING LAUNDRY
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